she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
