idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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