Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I did not marry a roomba.
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