my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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