Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
