Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
