I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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