i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Dick very happy bro
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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