i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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