I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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