i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
