I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
she was so not down for the gang bang
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
