That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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