i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
