i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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