You smell like stripper and shame
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
