Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Everclear isn't food dammit
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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