the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Terrible idea I love it
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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