If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
