do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
