I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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