we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
This is the high leading the old right now
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
