Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
