I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
