Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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