It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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