When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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