Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
you never un-have a 4some
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
