Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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