I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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