Pappa wants mamma naked
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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