I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
