would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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