I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
