just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
