Just took my morning after pill in the library
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
