im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
