he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
