this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
well you can't waste a boner
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
