none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
