Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Apparently you make a good broom.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
