We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
