I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
