Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
