You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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