road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
