Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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