I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
