he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
