oh god the rape fog is back!
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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