i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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