Are we in a gay sports bar?
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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