Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
