separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
