is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
