After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
